“If that was a classroom they’d all be in detention!”

Anyone been watching our Chancellor backtracking about the loss of our AAA rating? It’s comical, or it would be if he wasn’t so two-faced and smug about it all. It’s as though Osborne had warned us this would happen, not promised us it never would. He’s such an arrogant, wormy little shit and unfortunately it seems that the media don’t really want to listen to the evidence of his 70mph reversal of position.

He said before that our AAA rating was important and would be the rule with which to measure progression toward economic recovery. Now that he’s the sorry sod responsible for us losing this oh-so-important badge suddenly the rating is just a sign of arrogance, an unimportant label that doesn’t mean anything. Um, except that it is a stark reminder that the austerity measures, cuts and disastrous policies are ENTIRELY required; justification that what Gideon is doing is exactly the right thing to do.

Except any teenager with a GCSE in Maths could tell you otherwise.

But that’s not important. We know he’s a cock (like the idiot son put in charge of “buying” for his Dad’s company due to the fact that he didn’t get the qualifications needed to get a proper real world job) and there’s little we can do to get our AAA rating back any time soon – in fact, Ken Clarke seems to think it’ll be “years” before we’re anywhere near ready to join Canada and Germany at the top of the list.

What is important, however, is the disgraceful way in which all politicians – on either side of the house – behave during any kind of debate within the commons. Braying and yelping and banging, shouting, clapping, waving and laughing like cunts like a bunch of ten-year-olds at a sleepover, getting away with all they can before the parent tells them it’s midnight and they need to be quiet; it’s fucking disgusting! If that was a classroom they’d all be in detention! Nobody would put up with it for a second if only because, in that bellowing fugg of pompous yorping, no decisions of any value could be made; nothing of any value can come from that zoo.

I want politicians who notice, understand then try to solve the problems at hand, regardless of who is to blame or who thinks they know better. I want a group of sensible, professional and trustworthy men and women who blame themselves as much as they blame their opponents and pool their resources and intelligence to reach a suitable end. I don’t want a roomful of bleating twats in suits, waving the questions about in raucous mock-outrage while chuckling at each other instead of reading, thinking about then answering the questions put to them.

But expecting an answer of any substance from anyone within the House of Commons is a dream we’ll never see realised. Gone are the days of decency, when politicians did things or at least tried to. Instead we now get a river of ambitious-by-default public-school swan-guzzlers (or upper-middle class public-school swan-guzzler wannabes with a state education) who value popularity and power above all else; an army of empty, selfish wankers with no regard for anything but their own image.

I’m not going to flog the old cliché of “they’re all as bad as each other, they’re all the same deep down”, but most of them are. It’s rare that someone comes along who appears to speak for the people who voted them in and means it when they do. You can count them on one hand. And I bet we’d all come up with the same four or five names. What a sorry fucking shame.

Ah, I feel better after that.

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