On Terrorism

The Government has just initiated the implementation of an Emergency Law that effectively overrides new EU rules concerning the collection and distribution of personal data by companies. More specifically, the Government are granting themselves the power to keep tabs on who you’re calling or email or texting, when you’re doing it and for how long. Additional clauses allow them, in extreme circumstances, to listen in or read your correspondence too.

This is being pushed through as Necessary For National Security. Which is bollocks. These days terrorism is The In Thing, it seems. Your brown neighbours are definitely doing it, Cameron says. And loads of people are probably texting each other about doing it! This is why we need this law that says I Can Do What The Fuck I Like, Cameron says…

I don’t know about you but I don’t think my neighbours are doing it. I don’t think I know anyone who’s texting about doing it either. In fact, the only person I could say for sure WAS trying to so it was Cameron himself and his Government of Quisling ‘lickers and lofty knobs.

Because, contrary to what you’re being made to believe, the word “terrorism” doesn’t just mean “blowing stuff up” – Oh no! It’s a word that means “the act of causing or fostering terror among a group of people” (my definition, but I think it’s a fair one). Yes, blowing up innocents or threatening to do so IS terrorism, but so is tricking people into supporting an intrusive, unnecessarily heavy-handed piece of “law” (for how long, I wonder?) by making them believe that, without it, they’ll be blown up.

The most dangerous terrorists in Britain today are those who write for our national newspapers, those who legislate from seats of power, those who claim to protect us. Cameron and his army of class warriors are terrorists. They tell us to fear and hate the poor, because they want your taxes in the form of benefits. They tell us to fear the foreign as they want your houses and jobs. They tell us to fear our neighbours and our friends because you just don’t know who they’re texting or what about! But don’t worry, this new Emergency Law means they’re not getting away with planning to blow up your kids’ school or poison your roses. You’re safe, now vote Tory.

Want to know why it’s an Emergency Law, despite the details of the EU ruling leading to it’s creation being available back in April? Want to know why it’s happening now, one week before Parliament breaks? Because their excuse is relevant now. Local Cardiff lads jetting off to Syria to be Jihadists, paedophiles everywhere (probably Snapchatting pics of your daughter to their celeb mates), foreigners everywhere (just WHAT are they doing, eh?)… It has to be now because, in a month or so, when the news media has moved on to something else, the excuse won’t sound quite so urgently requiring attention. It also means it doesn’t have to be checked or amended, just forced through Because National Security. Backbenchers get almost no say.

Yet here we are. It’s happening, people complain, people question seemingly overpowered aspects of it but nothing can be done. Because it’s done. It in. It’ll be law by Tuesday. By Friday they’ll have your emails and texts on file. By next Friday you’ll be afraid to text about anything ever again.

I don’t know what it’ll be used for most, but I can assure you that “catching terrorists” isn’t it. That’s an excuse. That’s to make you want it too. That’s to make you even more nervous about sitting next to that Asian man with the backpack on the train that you already, irrationally, shamefully are. That’s to make you vigilant. To make you scared. To make you compliant. Obedient. Maybe even thankful. They’ve got you again. You need us, Vote Tory, we can keep you safe. From anyone except us, of course.


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