I’m ashamed of myself. I’m frustrated and angry and feel worthless, useless and ungiving. I haven’t written a word for weeks and it’s getting me down. Part of the reason is the fact that I am able to write only on an iPad at present, which following the iOS 8.2 update is like trying to chisel the words onto a slab of coated steel with a banana and a toothbrush. Slow isn’t the word, to say nothing of the elaborately creative new auto-correct features. Another part of the reason is that I’ve been unwell and I know it’s only a cold, really, but it’s gone – as usual – straight to my ears. My balance is fucked and I’m sick to death of coughing up sickening, sweet-tasting goop.
But the main reason is this: I have no motivation. Nobody reads this blog and, although I’ve always promised myself that I would write for me and me alone regardless of audience, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m yelling into the void. And that entire sentence makes me hate myself more than you’d imagine it would or I could. I used to write all the time, about anything and everything. Maybe, to get back to that, I should take baby steps. Once a week, more if possible sounds good to me.
This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve promised to post more regularly and I’m sure it won’t be the last either. But here I am again, pledging to do just that. Saturday is Article Day from now on! A weekly rant about whatever’s crawled up my arse and irritated me that week. Or maybe I’ll post nice, fluffy, positive posts about enjoyable things, who knows? But SATURDAY is ARTICLE DAY and I’m fucking determined to feed it the food it enjoys – long-sentenced, over-punctuated, melodramatic, inelegant yet heartfelt opinion on toast.
I’m also changing the name of this blog, because its current one is shit. Ridiculously, @gabundy is kind of My Brand (cringe), so I’m tying this blog directly to my Twitter account and using the same handle. Yeah, it’s not great, I know. But I really would love it if you could spread the word: share on Facebook, RT on Twitter, check Tom’s still doing okay on his own over in The Other Place! If you could just let people know I’m writing and that, sometimes, I’m a quite enjoyable read (It doesn’t even have to be true) I’d greatly appreciate it…
…and while you do that I’ll think of something to write about on Saturday.