So, here’s the thing: I stopped watching The X Factor at about series three or four. Then started watching again some series later. I started watching this latest series and it is shit, really and truly. It’s horribly manufactured in terms of drama and excitement and nobody on it can sing. But, inevitably, it’s still hugely popular and we’ll no doubt land a Christmas Number 1 cover of something breathy and cheap by someone people will have forgotten the name of by New Year’s Day.
A few years ago, when there was that campaign to keep X Factor from the top spot by pushing sales of Killing In The Name Of, I said “Yeah, that’s all well and good, but that number one is still manufactured! You’ve still coerced people – through campaigning of some kind – into buying something they wouldn’t ordinarily buy: indeed, most WOULD ordinarily buy an X Factor track around Christmas, mainly as a gift for a relative” – never let it be said I don’t think through the shit I spout.
But we’re talking as though it matters! We’re talking as though people actually care what’s Christmas Number 1. It doesn’t! We don’t! And now, for the last few years, we’ve had those bloody awful, emotionally-facile, multi-million-pound “Retail Store Christmas ads” – I’m looking at you, John Lewis and bloody Sainsbury’s!
Again, we are given a breathy cover of a song that once did quite well, sung by someone who is either not yet known or long forgotten, set atop a mawkish representation of a Christmas that has never existed! I hate them all. By default, I hate them. Sainsbury’s, not content with cashing in on cheap emotion and festive generosity, have this year also cashed in on WAR! Because, this year (and until 2018) WAR SELLS!
The Great War sells chocolate! Yeah! That old-looking chocolate bar in that advert? Yeah, available at all tills in all Sainsbury’s stores for just a quid. Bargain, right? Well, it’s about normal price for a chocolate bar, but in cheaper packaging. And, you know, it’s technically a film prop, isn’t it? So…
Ah, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here. I’m just moaning, I think. I reckon, instead of giving the X Factor winner an almost-guaranteed Christmas Number 1 and a career that will last no time at all, just get them to record the song for the John Lewis advert. Kill two birds with one stone. It’s all bollocks anyway.