Author: Gareth

I'm in my thirties and I don't blog half as much as I'd like to. I'm constantly working on fixing this, though nothing ever bloody comes of it. Let's just see how we go...

The Pandemic Continues…

I wish I’d bothered to keep a lockdown journal. I wish I’d documented the ins and outs of this pandemic. We are living through a moment of history here. Our kids and grandkids will learn about 2020 in school.

But I haven’t. So what is there to say? I will sit down one day and get my thoughts out in full. As things stand, neither my physical nor mental health is robust enough for me to put myself through that.

I haven’t had Covid-19 (to my knowledge) though I wouldn’t be surprised to find out I actually have… I luckily haven’t lost anyone to it either. I hope I can say the same when it is all over.

Hey, who knows what life will be after this™ blows over? Who knows if it ever really will? Stay tuned for more, I guess… In another three months if the last gap is anything to go by. Apologies for that.

When Life Comes At You

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It’s been a really strange, stressful few weeks. I can’t go into it all, but let’s just say I found my health crashing, mentally and physically, fast. This resulted in the loss of my job and all the extra stresses that come with that.

Then, a couple of weeks back, I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache. I took some painkillers and went for a bath. That was when I noticed that the left side of my face had… stopped working. Immediately I was convinced I was having a stroke so woke my wife who called an ambulance. Blood tests, ECGs and hours more tests later and I was told that it wasn’t a stroke, or anything so serious; it was likely Bell’s Palsy.

A trip to my GP the following day confirmed the diagnosis and I was put on a massive dose of antiviral medication and steroids. I was told that it could take anything from weeks to decades to recover any use in the left side of my face. I’m hoping it’s the former.

It doesn’t hurt, in any real sense, but my face aches a lot. I seem to have a heavy face that is hard work to carry around when it’s just hanging there limply. The worst part is that my left eyelid is completely useless. It won’t close. I have to use surgical tape to keep my eye shut while I sleep, to avoid scratches and dust getting into it. I’m meant to wear an eye patch when I’m out and about. My vision is constantly blurry and my jaw gives up at around 4pm every day.

I’m also surprised by how draining the condition is. I get very tired. It’s partly the mental strain of it all, but there’s definitely a physical element. I’m exhausted. I feel the need to lie down and rest a lot. It’s very debilitating. It’s not an illness I’ve ever thought about before I got it. I hope it goes away quickly, but I know of people who have had it 20 years or more.

I suppose we’ll see what happens. I’ll keep you informed.

So that’s where I am. Exhausted and uncomfortable and stressed. I’m mentally not quite there and that’s never good for when I’m physically sick too because I tend to mope rather than try to push through. I haven’t written on here in a long time and thought throwing this out might do me good. Maybe it has. Who knows?

We’re off to see the ParaPod Movie again on Monday in Bristol, which I can’t wait for. It’s going to be so much fun, meeting people we only know through the online fandom of the podcast. I’ll write all about it and share some photos next week. Be kind, stay safe, wash your hands regularly. Bye.